Archive for February, 2013

Thoughts on Valentine’s Day

February 9, 2013

You know friends, as Valentine’s Day approaches it is all too easy to feel cynical about the very notion of love and romance in our modern, celebrity obsessed culture. With people getting married just to generate press coverage, not to mention the continued existence of Kim Kardashian, romance can seem to have no place in our busy lives. For a single person at this time of year, all the talk of love and the search for happiness can seem disheartening and overwhelming. But sometimes I’ll be walking down the street and I’ll see a young couple caught in the first exhilarating throes of their love affair. Arms wrapped around each other, that sparkle in their eyes, whispering sweet nothings as they giggle with delight. And I’ll quietly think to myself, “I hope you both get syphilis.”



What Sort Of Heavy Metal Am I Listening To? Part Three

February 4, 2013

Welcome back, my metallic friends, for another insightful exploration of the world’s loudest and least understood form of music. Today’s lesson will examine two of the most difficult to distinguish genres in the metal pantheon – Doom Metal and Stoner Rock. They have much in common with sludgy guitar riffs and grinding tempos but once again, the key to telling these two musical woolly mammoths apart lies in the lyrics. Let us begin.


Doom Metal lyric subjects:

There was a witch. She was beautiful but she had evil in her heart. I tried to leave her, but there was no escape.


There was a mountain. It was made of iron and mightiness. I tried to climb the mountain but it was evil. There was no escape.


There was a wizard. He knew many arcane magics. Unfortunately he was evil. I tried to escape his mystic machinations. There was no escape.


There was a gate. It led to Hell. I tried not to go through the gate, but I did because there was no escape.


Evil. Evil is everywhere. But not to worry, it’s easy to avoid evil.


Totally kidding. There is no escape.


Stoner Rock lyric subjects:

Dude, is there any more pot?